又到了剑桥学霸晒屁股的季节,看完只想告诉他们:说人话!

2017年11月19日 17:05 英伦圈

请用赵忠祥老师的语气跟着圈哥念:又到了草原上的剑桥学霸们晒屁股的季节……

不过,你没猜错,一年一度剑桥大学学霸们的“最美屁股大赛”(Best Bums)又!回!来!了!主办方依然是学生与青年文化网站The Tab,还是那个味儿……

话说这项比赛,每年都是由来自剑桥大学各个学院的学霸们自愿报名、拍摄和参与,然后在The Tab的官网由吃瓜群众们投票。

去年一共15组参赛选手,得票最高的是法律系妹子Polly,直接站在剑桥最著名的讲堂正中间拍下了……嗯……想再复习去年所有参赛选手的,戳这里。

今年的“最美屁股大赛”,11月11日光棍节当天结束报名。参赛人数比去年少了那么一丢丢,一共10个人,不过质量有保证就对了!

然而这都不是重点,这些学霸为自己的屁股一同撰写的参赛宣言,才真的是……学霸气质尽显到人神共愤啊,平均每句话都要130万次求助英汉大辞典!

下面就让我们来跟着这10位剑桥学霸,一边文明观臀,一边增长词汇量,中英文配合食用效果更佳哦!什么叫做一本正经地胡说八道,看完你就明白了……

克莱夫 | Clive

罗宾孙学院,古典学

Studying Classics at Robinson

摒弃了对肉体的所有已知禁锢,克莱夫的思绪沉溺在当代社会中鹅卵石的坚忍里,并勇敢面对这样一个社会基础建设的选择:这样的鹅卵石工艺,本可以从美学和内心情感角度更令人满足的。

Relinquishing all known restraints upon notions of corporeal control, Clive muses over the endurance of the cobble in the contemporary age, when confronted with the alternative infrastructural option of a more aesthetically and viscerally gratifying choice of masonry.

说人话版本:这石板路太丑了,还是我的屁股美……

维塔 | Vita

凯斯学院,法学

Studying Law at Caius

致力于探索落叶的抽象与治愈特质,维塔矗立在这一片萧索之中,坚定地试图解决从换季更替绵延数周的不确定性中衍生而出、短暂的生命危机。

Endeavouring to divine the metaphysical and remedial qualities of foliage, Vita perserveres in the face of ennui, resolute in her pursuit to resolve the fleeting existential crises which arise in the weeks of cross-seasonal uncertainty.

说人话版本:冷死本宝宝了,pose都摆僵啦!

摩根 | Morgan

圣三一学院,工程学

Studying Engineering at Trinity

在青春俏皮的皮囊之下,摩根通过还未被当代青年身份癖性所定型的、激情与活力的协同作用,奋起反抗后现代环境下典型的审美趋向。

Standing with an semblance of rakishness, Morgan repudiates the stylistic tendencies symptomatic of the post-modern condition through a synergy of hauteur and vivacity, unpreoccupied by the procilivities of the modern jeunesse.

说人话版本:鲜肉虽可口,但我也很有内涵哒!

凡妮莎 | Vanessa

基督学院,艺术史

Studying History of Art at Christ's

无情地沉浸在这季节选择什么配饰的天人交战之中,凡妮莎身处于这个遭受消费主义无差别蒙蔽、充斥着人为潮流更替的年代,兀自寻味着合乎自身风格的头饰的重要性。

Inexorably consumed by the polemics about seasonally appropriate accessorising, Vanessa ruminates over the momentousness of millinery consistency in an age otherwise invariably blinded by a consumer culture characterised by the faddism of planned obsolescence.

说人话版本:选个头饰而已,我咋又犯选择恐惧症了?

伦纳德 | Leonard

菲茨威廉学院,医药学

Studying Medicine at Fitzwilliam

与年代历史的线性逻辑中那些单一乏味的假设渐行渐远,伦纳德在时间与钟表结构的面前,彻底抛弃了代表着人类克制能力巅峰的自我限制。

Gravitating away from monolithic assumptions about the linear teleology of the chronological, Leonard decries the self imposed constraints which culminate from our voluntary self-abegnation in the face of temporal and horological structures.

说人话版本:历史建筑面前放飞自我真刺激!

安杰丽卡 | Angelica

圣凯瑟琳学院,自然科学

Studying Natural Sciences at St Catharine's

虽然肩负群居生物的天性,但安杰丽卡却是一个社会边缘人。为了解决这样的尴尬处境,她习惯性地逃离庸俗的社会环境,避开与俗人的一切关联。

Nonwithstanding her gregarious nature, Angelica reconciles her compromising position as one of society's ambiverts through habitual withdrawl from the philistinism of the social milieu, eschewing association with the hoi polloi.

说人话版本:我是小仙女,凡人都离我远点。

罗杰 | Roger

圣体学院,英语文学

Studying English at Corpus

惊艳于眼前的建筑成就,罗杰在新古典主义被野兽派取而代之后却选择赞颂前者,并为当代社会也许无法避免的新民粹主义而哀叹。

Bamboozled by the achievements of architectonics, Roger eulogises the neoclassical in the wake of its eclipse by the emerging forces of brutalism, lamenting the implacable currents of modernity from which nascent populism may emerge.

讲人话版本:英国文化都从欧洲来的,想脱欧的是渣渣!

弗吉尼亚 | Virginia

耶稣学院,土地经济学

Studying Land Economy at Jesus

弗吉尼亚发自内心地痴迷于园丁们的手艺,通过玩味灌木丛高度所隐含的精英内涵,从中体会到了作为人类向知识之树之巅发起冲锋的隐喻意义。

Organically inclined, Virginia is invariably enthralled by topiary, relishing the latent meritocratic implications relating to the scaling of shrubbery, fashioning a covert metaphoric allusion to one's ascent towards the zenith of the tree of knowledge.

说人话版本:学霸爱爬树,你管我?

邓肯 | Duncan

唐宁学院,建筑学

Studying Architecture at Downing

邓肯对世人普遍偏好的壮丽辉煌感到厌倦和疲劳,比起广受赞誉的巴洛克美学,他更喜欢清教徒禁欲主义式的简洁之美。当有人问他接下来在土木工程领域的目标时,他毫不掩饰自己对实用主义的崇拜。

Jaded and fatigued by the pervasive penchant for grandiloquence, Duncan favours the simple appeal of the puritanical ascetic over that of the much-adorned Baroque aesthetic, propounding his adoration for the functional when questioned about his forthcoming objectives in the field of civil engineering.

说人话版本:剑桥的古典建筑都是垃圾,宝宝要为性冷淡极简主义疯狂打call!

朵拉 | Dora

哈默顿学院,历史学

Studying History at Homerton

朵拉常常踏上前往东安格利亚腹地的冒险与放纵之旅。在单车探索之路上,她抵抗住了大都市毫无怜悯心的支点的利他主义侵蚀,满足了自己对大自然的欲望。

Oftentimes embarking upon venturesome and temerarious journeys into the East Anglian hinterland, Dora seeks to satiate her voracity for the natural world through velocipedic disovery, in her quest to surmount the threat of altruistic erosion in the uncompassionate fulcrum of the urban metropolis.

说人话版本:城里无聊,还是要多骑车去野外溜达才行!

看完学霸们的这些配文,真是感觉连屏幕上的屁股都充满了文学的气息!

然而吃瓜群众投票的依据还是肉体,目前The Tab上战况如下,妹子们包揽前五……▼

投票还没结束,大家可以戳去The Tab页面,把票投给自己最中意的学霸……的屁股:https://thetab.com/uk/cambridge/2017/11/12/vote-now-cambridges-best-bums-2017-102713

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